Finding My Soul in the Deepest Darkness

​Pull up a chair, grab your favorite mug, and let’s sit for a moment. Today is a day of celebration, but for me, it is also a day of deep reflection. On this day, I want to give back the only thing I truly own: The Glory of my Testimony.

When Everything Shatters

We often talk about the “Gift of Job”, the idea of having everything taken away only to be restored. For a long time, I lived that reality in the most literal sense.

​Many of you know my history. I was a runaway at 12 and homeless until I was 19. I thought the streets had taught me everything there was to know about survival. I thought I knew what “the bottom” looked like. But life has a way of breaking you in places you didn’t know could bleed.

​Years later, my life shattered into a million pieces. I faced attacks from every position. I lost custody of two sets of children from two different relationships. I reached a point of such profound hopelessness that I simply let go, leaving my life up to the vices of the world. I lost my mind, and I truly believed my soul had gone with it.

​I had endured things in my final relationship that left me without a shred of dignity. It was a darkness incomparable to anything I had faced in abusive households or on the streets. It took my babies, and it left me empty.

​The Angel in the Flesh

​But God.

In that pitch-black darkness, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the definition of Grace, placed an angel in my life. A protector in the flesh. This person had been in my circles for a while, but God positioned him at exactly the right coordinate to catch me when I fell.

​He watched me the whole time. He accepted me when I was broken, desperate, and unrecognizable. He had seen me when I was full of life, and he didn’t turn away when that light went out. Step by step, even when he had to let me go, God placed Grace inside of him to understand a woman who didn’t even understand herself.

​Through the love of a family that took me in, I finally stopped running. And there, in the quiet of my own heart, I found Him. I didn’t find Jesus in the clouds or a building, I found Him inside my own soul, waiting for me to come home to myself.

​15 Years of Restoration

​That was 15 years ago.

​The miracle didn’t stop with me finding peace. God began a work of restoration that only He could orchestrate. I married that angel. The man who caught me when I was shattered became my husband. Today, we share a beautiful life and three children together.

​For 15 years, I have lived in His Holy Presence. My life was once a wreckage, but He rebuilt it into a temple of praise. I am living proof that the “Gift of Job” is real. Restoration isn’t just about getting back what you lost; it’s about becoming someone entirely new.

​A Witness to the Miracle

​To anyone reading this who feels like they are in their own “Job season”, if you have lost your kids, your mind, or your hope,I want you to look inward. I have been the runaway. I have been the homeless child. I have been the mother with empty arms. But today, I am a wife, a mother, and a daughter of the King. I am a witness to the miracles that happen in the secret places.

​This is my gift back to Him today: To tell you that no matter how many pieces your life is in, the Creator knows exactly how they fit back together.

​Hosanna to the King who was born to restore the broken.

​As you sip your tea today, I want to ask you: What is one ‘hidden miracle’ God has granted you that the world doesn’t see? Let’s testify together in the comments.