From Brokenness to Boundaries:

The Power of My Unshakable “I Am” in Christ

Hey, God’Sip and Tea family! Grab your mug, because today, we’re pouring out some truth about one of the biggest spiritual breakthroughs I’ve ever experienced: the difference between helping carry a burden and becoming the burden.

For years, for a long time, I honestly was so broken and lost. I allowed every stray emotion, every crisis, and every heavy spiritual load from the people around me to settle right onto my own shoulders. Their anxieties became mine. Their burdens dictated my actions and even my very identity. If they were upset, I was broken. If they were struggling, I felt responsible for fixing it.

It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially when you have a giving heart. We read Galatians 6:2 and hear the call to “Bear one another’s burdens,” and we mistake that call for a demand to take ownership of their pain.

The Divine Distinction: Load vs. Burden

Here is the healing truth I found, anchored in Scripture: there’s a massive, soul-saving difference between a load and a burden.

The Load (Galatians 6:5): This refers to the personal responsibility each of us has for our own life, choices, and consequences. This load belongs to them.
The Burden (Galatians 6:2): This is the call to sympathy, assistance, and community support. We help them carry their burden with them. We pray, we listen, we walk alongside them, but we do not strap their entire load onto our backs and collapse under the weight.

Finding that distinction has been my freedom. It means that even if a challenge is related to me or involves me (even within my marriage, which started before I was fully healed in Christ), it doesn’t grant anyone the right to throw their burdens on me. I have the spiritual responsibility to establish and maintain my peace.

Boundaries in Real Life: Load vs. Burden

This principle isn’t just theory; it must be practiced in the messiness of our closest relationships. Here is how that boundary shows up:

Relationship	Scenario (The Crisis)	Taking on Their LOAD (Unhealthy)	Helping Carry Their BURDEN (Healthy)
Marriage	A spouse repeatedly mismanages finances, causing late bills and stress.	You secretly pay the debt with your separate savings, absorbing the anxiety and resentment. You absorb their load.	You commit to creating a joint budget and tracking tools, stating firmly: “I will help us manage, but I will not silently bail us out again.” You share the burden of the consequences.
Friendship	A friend consistently cancels plans or generates self-inflicted drama.	You continue to cover for their lateness and absorb their emotional chaos, believing you must enable them to “be a loving friend.” You let their irresponsibility dictate your time and peace.	You offer prayer and a listening ear for their genuine pain, but lovingly establish a time boundary: “I will wait 10 minutes, then I’ll start without you.” You support the person without enabling the habit.
Children	An adult child repeatedly quits jobs or asks for emergency money due to poor planning.	You pay their rent or bills every time to prevent them from facing natural consequences. You rob them of the dignity of their struggle.	You draw a financial line: “My funds are closed for rent, but I will help you update your resume and practice for job interviews.” You give emotional support for the stress, but refuse the financial obligation.

The Biblical Precedent for Boundary Setting

For those who worry that setting firm boundaries sounds “un-Christian,” remember that boundaries are deeply biblical. They flow directly from recognizing and respecting the Divine rules of responsibility.

The Principle of Personal Accountability: Galatians 6:5 is the anchor: “For each will have to bear his own load.” When you refuse to take on someone else’s load, you are actually allowing God’s process of growth and discipleship to work in their life.
The Example of Jesus: Our model, Jesus Christ, practiced perfect boundaries, regularly withdrawing to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16). He prioritized connection with the Father over the overwhelming demands of the crowd. This teaches us the boundary of rest and solitude—if the Son of God needed it, how much more do we?
The Command to Guard Your Heart: Proverbs 4:23 advises: “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” My refusal to take on burdens that aren’t mine is not rejection; it is stewardship of the peace and energy God has gifted me.

Unshakable: My Identity is Not Negotiable

This profound healing, I’ve learned, is only done at the foot of the Cross. It is found exclusively by establishing my identity through the blood of the Lamb and under Calvary.

This is my declaration to my family, my friends, and to you, reader:

I will not waver on this. I will not be shaken. My foundation is in Christ, and it doesn’t matter what stands in my way—I will not change who I am in Christ.

This maturity allows me to serve and love from a place of strength and wholeness, not depletion. Because when you are whole in Him, you can pour into others without pouring out yourself.

Now, let’s talk about it: Which of the three relationship examples above (Marriage, Friendship, or Children) is the hardest place for you to maintain boundaries?

Pour your thoughts in the comments below!