(A Study in Sanctification)

​If you are walking this path, you know that the space you now occupy is a delicate, vulnerable place. The spiritual obedience that requires you to sever deeply rooted connections and face your own failures is an act of profound courage, not coldness. Know that what you are doing is not just rigorous, it is necessary for your soul to finally breathe.

​This necessary act of separation is rooted in the theological principle of Sanctification. The Greek word hagiasmos means “holiness” or “a separation.” Our journey is one of progressive sanctification, where we are actively set apart from the world’s influence and conformed more and more to the image of Christ.

​The cutting of ties is simply the divine filter at work. The separation either refines the person or reveals their true self to you. When the comfort of your presence is removed, their spiritual standing is brought into the light. This is not your doing; it is God’s grace exposing the necessity of the cut for both parties.

​The Cost of Discipleship: Trading the Crowd for Christ

​You know the difference between the two lives. When you were “fighting, crazy, dancing, happy, sad, high and numb,” you had a crowd. You had so many friends and so many activities.

​But the moment you genuinely met Christ, everything changed.

​Suddenly, those same people who celebrated your chaos and distraction don’t want to talk about the good things. They see your dreams, your spiritual gifts, and your authority not as things to cheer, but as a disdain and just a bother.

• ​This is profoundly necessary. The crowd loves the wide road. When you choose the narrow way, the crowd must fall off.
• ​This is spiritual warfare. Most will quietly fall off on their own, but many will be quietly hating, talking about you in their heads, and hiding festering emotions against you. Your light exposes their own unwillingness to deny the flesh, and they resent the mirror you hold up.

​This isn’t about being disliked; it’s about being set apart. The solitude you experience is the sound of God clearing the distractions so you can focus on the discipline. The vacuum left behind is the space where He will place your true calling.

​Practical Examples of the Shedding Process

​The self-denial required for sanctification is often most evident in the difficult adjustments we make with those closest to us. Shedding doesn’t always mean a dramatic exit; sometimes, it is the quiet, intentional setting of spiritual boundaries.

Relationship Type	The Old Way (Disobedience/Flesh)	The Shedding (Obedience/Spirit)	Theological Principle at Work
The Brother/Sister in the Flesh	Joining their circle for gossip or passive entertainment to maintain comfort and avoid conflict.	Gently declining invitations to activities that compromise your spirit, citing your new purpose. (E.g., “I love you, but I can’t be at that party/event anymore.”)	Detachment (Prioritizing spiritual values over worldly comfort).
The Co-Dependent Friend	Continually rescuing them from the consequences of their choices (sin) or carrying the emotional weight of their cross.	Offering prayer and counsel only, but establishing a clear boundary that you will not financially or emotionally enable destructive patterns. (E.g., “I am here to pray for you, but I am not bearing the weight of this addiction.”)	True Cross-Bearing (Distinguishing between bearing your cross and assuming theirs).
The Distracting Family Member	Engaging in circular, draining conversations that breed resentment and pull you into cycles of past trauma.	Limiting the time or medium of contact (e.g., opting for a short phone call instead of an hours-long visit; shifting from constant texting to scheduled check-ins).	Progressive Sanctification (Protecting the time and space needed for growth and communion with God).
The Abusive/Critical Figure	Remaining in an environment where your identity in Christ is constantly undermined and attacked.	Physically and emotionally withdrawing to a far sideline position, where your ministry to them is purely through prayer.	Separation for Holiness (Protecting your vessel to be used by God, acknowledging that your safety is part of your spiritual stewardship).

The Final Surrender: Finding the Authentic Self

​We must address a painful and often twisted idea that keeps believers bound: It is not your job to bear their cross. That burden belonged only to Christ on Calvary. Your mandate is to help them bear the weight of their burdens (Galatians 6:2).

​The absolute culmination of this shedding process is the final, essential act of self-denial (Luke 9:23). When you humbly let go of the old identity—the one defined by trauma and reaction—you realize you didn’t lose yourself. You found the you God created you to be and the reason why.

​This is the great exchange outlined by Paul:

​“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:1-2, ESV)

​The final shedding is of the worldly self, allowing the renewal of the mind to take root. The person you discover is defined by purpose, not pain. You are no longer the product of what was done to you or what you did to others. That original, beautiful design has been restored.

​Sip on this Deep Thought: Now that you have intentionally ceased to be conformed to the world through your difficult shedding, what specific, immediate step are you taking today to ensure your mind is being renewed in preparation for the will of God?