Pillars of Salt and Straight Jackets:

The Danger of Looking Back

Hey God’Sip Fam,

Grab your favorite mug, because today we’re diving deep into a topic that’s been heavy on my heart, and I suspect, on the hearts of many of you too. It’s about the past. Not the warm, fuzzy, nostalgic kind of past, but the kind that claws at you, plays on a relentless loop in your mind, and threatens to leave you stuck.

For too long, my biggest fight in life wasn’t with external enemies, but with an inner monologue that refused to let go. It was a constant reel, replaying every fight, every battle, every war I had ever heard, seen, and fought. It felt like a sin, this perpetual replay of the make-or-break moments, the ones that hardened me. And honestly, for a long time, I was hard. I was unforgiving. I wanted everyone to suffer at my sight, sound, or presence, a reflection of the profound suffering that had been inflicted upon me.

This isn’t just my story, I know it. This “systemic mental back-paddling” is a vintage suffering, passed down through intergenerational dynamics. It’s an old, old story, one we see perfectly mirrored in the Bible: Lot’s wife.

Remember Lot’s Wife

Think about it. They were fleeing Gomorrah, leaving behind a life of sin and destruction. The angels gave Lot a clear, urgent command: “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, nor stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be swept away.” (Genesis 19:17, NKJV) But she did. And in that single, defiant glance, she lost the ultimate victory. “But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.” (Genesis 19:26, NKJV) Stuck there she stood, transformed into a pillar of salt.

For so long, I felt like her. But instead of a pillar of salt, my fear was ending up in a straight jacket. The constant churning of past hurts, the desire for retribution, the unforgiving heart—it all felt like it was calcifying me, freezing me in time.

The Universal Harm of “Looking Back”

Whether we are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, or friends, being stuck in the past carries profound consequences. It’s not just a personal struggle; it ripples through every relationship and opportunity in our lives.

For Mothers: Constant looking back can leave a mother emotionally unavailable to her children, hindering the parent-child bond. She might parent from a place of fear or scarcity, passing on intergenerational trauma rather than breaking cycles of pain. Her own emotional and mental health can suffer, leading to depression or anxiety, and stifling her personal growth.
For Grown Men: A man fixated on the past may struggle with a lack of drive, an inability to find joy, and persistent regret. He might suppress emotions, leading to anger or physical health issues. Relationships often suffer as he struggles to be present, his emotional energy consumed by old hurts, leading to resentment or projecting past betrayals onto loved ones. Professionally and personally, growth is stifled as he fears taking risks, bound by past failures rather than open to new possibilities.

The truth is, regardless of our role or gender, when we are constantly looking over our shoulder, we lose the ability to fully engage with the present and step boldly into the future God has for us.

Theological Truths

Theological principles offer so much wisdom here:

Disobedience & Lack of Faith: Lot’s wife disobeyed a direct divine command. For me, it was a disobedience to the call to move forward, to trust that God had something better, even if I couldn’t see it yet. My heart was still entangled with the pain I was being delivered from.
Attachment to the World (or the Hurt): Her lingering gaze wasn’t just curiosity; it was a yearning for what she was leaving. “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62, NIV) For me, it was a yearning for justice, for vengeance, for the vindication of my suffering. My heart was still firmly planted in the soil of past hurts, unable to fully embrace the freedom offered.
The Peril of Nostalgia for Sin (or Suffering): It’s not just about sin, but about any past state that keeps us from growth. My “looking back” was a deep attachment to the wounds, a refusal to let them go, perhaps even finding a twisted comfort in the familiar pain.
A Call to Single-Mindedness: Jesus himself said, “Remember Lot’s wife!” (Luke 17:32, NKJV) when speaking about preparing for His coming. It’s a powerful reminder to completely commit to the path ahead, trusting God’s direction without hesitation. We are called to “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14, NKJV)

From Salt to Soul

My journey has been about recognizing that this pattern of looking back, this unforgiving spirit, this desire for suffering, was a symptom of my own deep wounds. The turning point isn’t about erasing the past, but about transforming my relationship with it.

You see, the truth is, I survived those battles. And that in itself is a victory. The next victory is refusing to let those old wars define my present or dictate my future. It’s about learning to walk away from the ashes, even when the embers still glow in my memory.

If you’re caught in your own loop, replaying old hurts, feeling that familiar pull to look back, remember this: You are not alone. And you are not destined to become a pillar of salt, frozen in your pain.

Here’s the tea: God doesn’t want us stuck. He wants us to walk forward in freedom. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV) It’s a daily battle to turn our gaze towards hope, towards healing, towards His loving grace. But every step forward is a testament to the powerful work He’s doing in us.

Let’s commit today to loosening the grip of the past. To trusting that what’s ahead is better than what’s behind, no matter how intense those past battles were. Our future is not determined by where we’ve been, but by where we’re going.

Blessings,

Reflection Question: What “Gomorrah” – whether a past hurt, resentment, or old way of thinking – might you be tempted to “look back” at today, and what commitment can you make to keep your gaze fixed forward on the path God has for you?