My Story, Our Freedom: A Mother’s Journey to Break Generational Chains

Our children. They are a gift from God, aren’t they? And as a mother, I have to confess, the greatest struggle of my life hasn’t been about them—it’s been about me. It has been the relentless, soul-deep work of getting myself right for them. Of actively, fiercely breaking the curses and dismantling the chains that were placed upon me by the generations before.

You see, I was taught things that no child should ever have to learn. My mother taught me that fighting is a form of strength, that marriage is a mistake, and that drugs are a valid way to ease the pain. She taught me about abuse and false religions. She taught me how to clean and how to cook, but she also taught me the most terrifying lesson of all: that she had the right to kill, steal, and destroy me.

I look at my children and my heart aches with a fierce, protective love. I have not passed these things down to them. They have seen me struggle, yes—beaten, bruised, abused, and in my darkest moments, feeling destroyed. But in those moments, they also saw a different lesson: a mother refusing to give up. A mother fighting to stand up.

I’ve been able to win the battles against the fleshly curses—the ones you can see. The abuse, the addictions, the destructive choices. But what I’ve recently come to realize is that there’s a more complex, insidious bondage I unknowingly passed down. It’s the spiritual wounds, the echoes of my own trauma that my children absorbed just by watching me. It’s the fear, the insecurity, the emotional patterns that whisper, even when I’m not speaking.

This is the part where I can no longer fight on my own. This is where I need Jesus. And the incredible compassion of His love is what I’ve been learning to lean on.

The Power of Being “Volunchosen”

A sister from my church once shared a word with me that has stuck in my heart: “volunchosen.” It perfectly describes this path. It’s a blend of volunteering and being chosen. It’s the recognition that while these generational wars were never fought by anyone in my family because they were too scared, someone had to step up. And I chose to be that someone.

This path will break you. It will cost you yourself. But that is the moment you learn to surrender. That is when you truly let God do the heavy lifting. You let Him step in to heal these intergenerational bondages that held every generation before trapped.

The Theological Principle at Play: Breaking Generational Patterns

The Bible offers us a profound hope, even when the past seems impossible to overcome. While some scriptures speak to the sins of the fathers impacting future generations (“for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation” -Exodus 20:5), the true heart of God’s message is found in passages like Ezekiel 18:20, which declares that a child will not bear the iniquity of their parent.

My journey is a living testament to this truth. It is a daily choice to end a cycle of pain and embrace a new narrative. The “volunchosen” role isn’t just about my will; it is about a divine calling. We choose to surrender and have faith, allowing God to do what only He can do. This is the redemption and new creation at work, not just for me, but for my children, and for every generation that will follow.

A Biblical Example: The Legacy of Job

The Book of Job gives us a beautiful example of this battle. In Job 1:5, we see a father who understood the reality of unseen sin. He would rise early and offer sacrifices for his children, “for he said, ‘It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.’”

Job wasn’t just praying for a known sin. He was proactively interceding, standing in the gap as a spiritual shield to break a potential curse before it ever took hold. He was fighting on their behalf, a battle he knew was too complex for them to fight on their own.

A Crucial Distinction: Looking to the Future, Not the Past

This is where the Lord’s will truly comes to hand. As a parent, my focus must be on the future, on the freedom I can build for my children. I cannot be focused on my own parents and what I can fix in them.

It is a difficult and heartbreaking truth, but if they want to stay stuck in their trauma and in these chains, they can. They have, and they will continue to do so. This is not what we, the chain breakers, focus on. Our path is forward.

We cannot force others to choose freedom. Our choice to not be pulled back into those patterns is not an act of abandonment, but one of self-preservation and a profound act of love and responsibility toward our children. It’s about protecting the gift God has given us.

Examples of Generational Bondage: Flesh vs. Spirit

Let’s break down these chains into two categories: those fought on a fleshly level and those that require a more complex, spiritual intervention.

1. Fighting on the Flesh Level

These are the struggles that are tangible, often through learned behaviors. They are “fleshly” because they are tied to human weakness, habits, and psychological patterns.

Addiction: A family history of substance abuse. I broke this by choosing a new path and getting help.
Poverty & Financial Instability: A cycle of poor spending habits and a lack of financial knowledge. I fought this by seeking education and actively building a new, stable foundation.
Dysfunctional Relationships & Abuse: Patterns of domestic violence, emotional neglect, or verbal abuse. I healed from this by learning to build healthy relationships based on grace and respect.
Chronic Lifestyle Illnesses: Conditions linked to generational patterns of unhealthy choices. I am committed to a new, healthy way of living for my family.

2. The Complex, Spiritual Battles (Requiring Jesus)

These are the deeper, more insidious strongholds that go beyond simple learned behavior. As Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” These require a different kind of weapon: Jesus.

The Lingering Wounds of Trauma: This is the bondage I’m talking about—the fear, anxiety, or emotional reactivity that my children may have absorbed from witnessing my struggles. I may have stopped the behavior, but the unseen wound can be passed on. This requires deep surrender to Jesus for healing and deliverance.
Rebellion and Idolatry: A deep-seated inclination away from God. Breaking it requires a spiritual reorientation, true repentance, and a profound commitment to faith in Christ.
Irrational Fears, Anxiety, & Depression: Persistent, unexplainable fears that may be spiritual manifestations. These battles demand intense prayer, spiritual warfare, deliverance, and the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Cycles of Unexplained Failure or Stagnation: When every attempt at progress is mysteriously thwarted. This points to a spiritual blockage that needs to be broken through intercessory prayer and spiritual authority in Christ.

The key here is recognizing that while some battles require our fleshly effort and discipline, the spiritual ones demand a different kind of surrender: prayer, repentance, deep reliance on the power of Christ, and allowing God to do what only He can do.

This journey of “volunchosen” isn’t easy, but the freedom it brings—for me and for my children—is the greatest legacy I could ever leave. It’s truly letting God do all the heavy lifting, and watching Him move mountains.

What chains are you choosing to break, not just for yourself, but for the generations to come?